What a crazy ride it was! From the moment the Africa project got the name She Blooms, my journey started. In order to be able to make other women celebrate their womanhood, I had to first do that myself. Completely. To every extend and with every cell of my being.
A few years ago, a new friend asked me if I felt feminine. My answer was no. She was surprised because she thought I was everything a woman is. I looked backed and realized that I have had some negative experiences with girls, with women. Betrayal, gossiping and the societal ideas of how a woman should be and look like didn’t really meet my ideas. I wasn’t a girly-girl, I didn’t play with Barbie’s, I didn’t like nail polish (and still don’t ;), I never dreamed of a white wedding dress and bridesmaids. I liked to hang out with guys, one of the reasons is that they were easier going, more direct and I felt more like a woman around them.
The last few years I have grown into my femininity. I have learned to love my boobs (I used to dislike and hide them) and maybe more important: my vagina (I disliked this part of my body even more). And especially the last few months have all about this. Womanhood and the period have everything to do with the vagina. I have been reading, sharing, learning, hearing and experiencing a lot about it and it made me realize that the root of womanhood lies in the pelvic area of a woman. The pelvic area that includes the vagina, the reproductive system, it is where new life is given from, it is where we find pleasure and pureness.
Embracing it has been a challenging journey, because the energy is raw. Very raw. A rawness we hardly find in Holland, but in Africa we do. It is the place of real, pure and genuine intuition, the place of all the deep and intense emotions a woman can experience. I encountered a lot of fear. The fear of being hurt, of not being good enough, of not being worthy. Of shame. Of guilt. And the fear of suppression and abuse a lot of women have experienced and still experience.
I have come to realize that this is where it is all about. Embracing the sensual, strong, soft and intense nature of being a woman. I got to embody it, in order to share, in order to bloom from a deeply rooted base.
Every flower got a right to be blooming. To come alive in its full potential. And today, a few hours before I head back to Holland, I feel so much joy, from the bottom of my being. I feel alive!